"We know smoking tobacco is not good for kids, but a lot of other things aren't good. Drinking's not good. Some would say milk's not good." - The unintentionally hilarious Bob Dole
The not-smoking thing has so far been reasonably successful. Thursday night I had quite a few (drinking + socialising with co-workers = 7 cigarettes), although considering my proven tendency to chain-smoke while drinking and the fact that all these cigarettes were had over the course of six hours instead of 90 minutes, it wasn't so bad. I also had one on Saturday night, after making a very nice dinner for Boyfriend and I (pork chops, breaded fried eggplant, and fettucine!). Dinner was great, and we were both feeling quite satisfied, and I blurted out "Y'know, a cigarette would be killer right now." Boyfriend has failed utterly at the quitting and had a pack on him, so I had one. It was, as predicted, killer.
It got me thinking though: what if, instead of following my pattern in every other quitting attempt and starting again in times of great stress, I save the occasional cigarette for the times when they enhance an already pleasant situation? Instead of dashing out in a moment of blind tech-support induced fury and buying a pack of cigarettes in order to keep from losing it at a user (which I have never done, by the way, although it's very tempting at times), I treat cigarettes as I would any other too-unhealthy-or-expensive-to-have-every-day delicacy, like cheesecake or Godiva chocolates. Boyfriend thinks this smacks of Stage 3 reasoning, which I feel is a little strong, but he might be right. I'll keep ruminating on it though. If I manage to break the habit, but keep the treat, that would be nice.
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